“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
Psalm 139:14-16

 As a kid, I watched shows like F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Ally McBeal, and Boy Meets World. They were great shows but it gave me the impression that having fame and a relationship with the opposite sex was really thrilling. Watching those shows and reading tons of magazines as early as 6 years old made me into such a know-it-all about hair, makeup, relationships, and, of course, boys.

Back then, I was what you would call “boy-crazy” – maybe “boy-driven” would have been a better term actually. This was mostly because whenever I needed someone to lean on, the guys that liked me were the only ones whom I felt were available during those moments.

When I was growing up, I wasn’t the first person you’d want to be friends with. I was too transparent. I never knew when to hold my tongue and I never thought before I spoke. I would just blabber on and on because, as I said earlier, I was such a know-it-all.

High school came and I did something that I thought I would never do to my parents. I betrayed them. I betrayed their trust and I had a secret relationship with a boy whom I thought I loved. I stayed in that relationship for years, and the reason I did was because I feared that if he left me, no one would be there for me anymore.

The longer I was in that relationship, the more I couldn’t get out of it. It got even more difficult when I started to get cheated on. I got cheated on for a long period of time. But instead of ending the unhealthy relationship, I chased after him. Again, my fear of being alone got the best of me, and at that time, staying in the relationship and trying to make it work was the only solution I found.

It reached a point where I was miserable every day. I was depressed, and my relationship with God felt so dry. I felt so dirty that I could not bring myself to run back to Him anymore no matter how much I wanted to.

It was when I went to church camp a few years back that I realized that God was trying to tell me something. He guaranteed me that He still loves me completely, even if I had made that mistake of desiring my boyfriend’s (and friends’) affections more than His perfect love. He reassured me that I could live without the “love” I got from my boyfriend because really all I needed was Him.

After camp, I ended things immediately with my boyfriend, and I was determined to set things straight in my life – that included confessing to my parents what I had done, and reassuring everyone that I was finally okay and that I was back on track with my relationship with God.

Sometimes, I would still feel the need to seek approval from other people, but then God always reminds me that His approval is all that matters and that His love is enough to get me through these pressures in life.

“She is worth far more than rubies.”
Proverbs 31:10b

I want you girls out there (and yes, even the guys) to realize that God is the only one we need to satisfy us. He is the only one who can give us true contentment.

To those who are having a hard time with waiting for God’s best for you (and/or with waiting until your parents are okay with you in being a relationship), continue to wait on the Lord because as we wait on Him, we are made more faithful and we are made more like Him.

 

Source: 31 Girls is a Christian community for women where they share God’s love by aiming to be a safe place where girls can fell they’re not alone in what they are going through and that there is still joy after all the wrongs.