October 2, 1990— I went down on my knees, with both arms stretched up and tears streaming down my face, I gave my life to Jesus.

I vividly recall the time when a man shared about his testimony. I listened intently, wanting to know the reason why he said he has been changed. He shared how he once lived a meaningless life until he discovered how much God loved him. Before he went back to his seat, he ended with saying, “Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).’” When I heard him say this, I broke down. I was so tired of putting up a “happy” front. I felt so weak and thought I had not an ounce of strength to live. I wanted everything to come to halt, the whole world to stay still, because my hurting heart was saying: “Look people, can’t you see? I’m dying, slowly dying. Help!”

Just like other young girls as I was growing up, I had so many dreams! My friends and I were excitedly making plans for our future. We were going to conquer the world. Little did I know what would eventually become of my dream world.

I was raped at the age of eighteen but kept it to myself. I was fearful of what my father would do and how devastated the rest of my family would be. And so, with this secret kept in my heart, life went on.

Right after graduating from college, I got into the entertainment industry. A year later, I eloped and married a man almost eight years my senior. The relationship, however, ended after eight years and two children. I obviously got into wrong relationships because of my low self-esteem. Later on I realized that the rape had much to do with how I perceived myself. I was so insecure and thought that having another man in my life would fill the void in my heart.

Soon after the separation, I found solace in the arms of a man I was working with daily. He became a dear friend, my best friend, and then lover. All seemed perfect except that he too was married. After some time, I bore him a son. I thought things would work out and we would live happily after but it didn’t turn out that way. I became anxious. I became even more insecure. There was no assurance in the relationship. It was not the kind of life I wanted. I became severely depressed, even suicidal.

Meanwhile, I faced the cameras daily. That was my work. I couldn’t possibly break down before the cameras. In the meantime, while I was in this pathetic state, so many of my friends were praying—even fasting—for me to surrender to the only One who could help me. That was how I found myself in that church gathering listening to that man sharing what God did for him. Someone had cared enough to invite me. That night, I asked God to forgive me for my sins. I asked Jesus into my heart, acknowledging my need for a Savior, believing He died on the cross for me. I asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life and to take control of every aspect of it. I cried out to Him, telling Him I wanted to obey Him but I couldn’t do it on my own. He had to help me turn my back from sin.

So much has transpired since 1990 when God saved me. I stand in awe of God’s grace and mercy. He picked me up from the pit to restore me and make me whole. Into the life that was meaningless chaos, He has placed order and a clear vision of my future. By His strength, my life of defeat became a life of victory. He had taught me the meaning of grace and witnessed how His power continues to change me. Because of this, I have chosen to follow Him and no other in this life—no matter what the cost.

Bio

Coney Reyes is a multi-awarded actress and producer. In the Philippines, she co-hosts in The 700 Club Asia show and is an active leader in her church. She is also a mother of three children.

Source:
“This is My Story” by various writers
Credits to Cityland Foundation Inc. and OMF Literature Inc.