“…If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? (Matthew 16:24-26)”

Jesus Christ was blunt about it. Death to self is essential to fully embrace life in Him.

I have died a million deaths, or so it seems, when I felt that Jesus failed me in four occasions. The first two occassions was when I failed the entrance exams to the university and course that I’d been wanting to get into. The third was when I had to resign from the dream job which I saw myself growing old in for the sake of a ‘higher calling’. I felt that He left me with no choice. The fourth one was the botched engagement six months before I was to walk down the aisle.

This series of experiences was excruciating. It has been at least eight years since they took place, yet I still feel a tinge of hurt while writing this piece. It was defining, in a sense, because I allowed myself to die and be comfortable in the coffin of self-preservation. My only link to life was laughter.

And then Jesus Christ–the real One we come to know through the bible – not the character that my mind had conceived since kindergarten — came into the picture. He was wild yet gentle in His approach. He peeked through the coffin glass every second of the day. He did not attempt to open the lid. The consistency of His glimpses, however, was appealing enough to leave me with no recourse but to open it, albeit reluctantly. He knew that the waiting was over so He took action. I was in awe!

Jesus propelled the dead in me to try to live again, despite all my efforts to hide. I now have gradual realizations that the unpredictability of life is better than the comforts of the coffin. Life’s surprises—pleasant or otherwise—are more exciting than a life centered on controlling the reality of pain. Pain has become bearable because His love overflows. His kind of love provides much courage to feel again. Feelings inferred are best nurtured by thinking, risking, and being in Him who breathes His life in mine. I must be blunt about this.

Passage of Reflection: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 2:20).”

Writer’s Bio:
Maia’s adventurous spirit is manifested in her love for Jesus Christ, people, the ‘poor’, words, travel, learning, the creative, and anything natural. Jesus’ adventurous spirit makes this love worthwhile. You can follow her blog at http://yellowitis.blogspot.com